I won't bother to make this more structured than this, so here you go, everything wrong with SAO II, in bullet format.
EPISODE 1
Making radical changes to the gameplay of an MMO would normally make most of the older players to ragequit. Not in this game though.
The main villain has the lame name of Death Gun.
The threat is nowhere near the level or interest of the first arc.
Kirito and Asuna are on a date in the real world and the only thing they can talk about is videogames.
Flashback to things we already know about and wished we had forgotten.
Agent dude claims he was there when Kirito woke up in the end of the first arc, when we never saw him standing there.
Agent dude and Kirito chat about very dangerous and top secret matters by shouting in a public restaurant.
Boring infodump in the pilot episode.
On top of that, said infodump happens by having people sitting on a table and talking, which is the laziest method of exposition.
Super secret intelligence organization begs a teenage citizen to go in another deadly videogame just so he will become a target for Death Gun. Said plan assumes Death Gun will be interested in a guy who is not a top player there but also has no idea how to play first person shooters.
Kirito accepts to go back in a deadly videogame and risk losing his perfect life, all for the wellbeing of videogames. Said wellbeing is all about videogames which are using helmets that fried the brains of thousands of people, and were used for brain control on hundreds of others, but are for some reason not forbidden already. This is why it is very important to stop a guy from killing a few people because that will totally make things worse.
First sight of the new girl in the story is having the camera zooming in on her ass and vagin*.
EPISODE 2
The sniper class is broken since it can wipe out any player or monster if they simply stay far away and keep firing at them, without ever being spotted.
Lazy infodumping amongst professional players talking about basic strategy plans a few minutes before the mission begins
Creepy guy tries to seduce a teenage girl just because her avatar looks sexy (and the camera makes sure we realize that)
Retarded group formation of otherwise professional players (scouts walk a few feet in front of their team, the team walks in the open like sitting ducks, their bodyguard walks behind them)
If a simple cloak can hide your equipment and make it impossible for enemies to know what your fighting style is, why isn’t everybody wearing cloaks?
People taking first person shooter games too seriously. New girl talks about honor in videogames when she is there to stalk and murder people for money
Smiling means you are a professional
Falling down 10 floors with one foot causes no falling damage
There is a limitation to how much you can rotate your weapon, which gives even more unfair advantage to snipers, since they can hit you if they are far away but you can’t hit them if you are right above or below them.
Reuse of the tentacle rape scene
You can only have one account and play one game, something which would never work financially
Side harem girls wetting themselves over Kirito-sama
EPISODE 3
Lazy infodumping once again by simply sitting on a table and talking. Because Kawahara doesn’t know what good exposition means.
A little girl can overpower an adult male, while all other adult males do sh*t
If you save yourself and your mother from certain death, she will be terrified of you
The best therapy to get over the fear of people pointing their fingers at you, is to shoot people in videogames
The show reveals the identity of Death Gun instead of keeping it a mystery
Once again the show makes all males besides Kirito to be douche bags, just so he will look better by comparison
Kirito is so OP that even when doing nothing while in a coma, he seduces sexy nurses
Three episodes and Kirito is still not in the game
EPISODE 4
Asuna hereon does what she is best at. Doing nothing and letting Kirito do all the work.
Kirito is now a trap, just because
Kirito has a super rare, beautiful, special avatar everybody is jealous of and wish they owned (of course)
Nobody would play a game that gives you a random avatar whose features you cannot customize. But it’s not like Kawahara knows anything about videogames or something.
People sexually harassing Kirito because he looks like a girl. Nobody questions if a player is really the same genre as his/her avatar
The first girl Kirito befriends all by chance in the game is Death Gun's next target
Our noble hero manipulates a girl he just met for his benefit. As heroic as it was back in the first arc.
Kirito wins right away at a mini game nobody else who has being playing for years can
Nobody questions why a new player with no experience or equipment can do that without yelling hack or cheat
Star Wars knock-offs
Lightsabers exist in this game, even though nobody can use them properly or even afford to buy them
Kirito can use them and buy them right away
Motorbikes exist in this game, even though nobody can use them properly
Kirito is good at driving motorbikes because he played racing games
Kirito drives a bike in real life even when it’s illegal for his age (great message for the audience)
EPISODE 5
The tournament is called Bullet of Bullets
Nobody in this game has a nickname with digits. This is impossible in any game with millions of players.
Kirito doesn’t input his real information as means to keep his identity hidden, even when the sole purpose he is in the game is to lure Death Gun by making it public he is there
Kirito is more worried that he will lose game prizes than his life
Making a fuss over a half naked avatar
So much for not making his information public. Death Gun finds him just from his name. Because magically nobody else chose to be called Kirito.
Nobody recognizes Death Gun in the tournament, even after he made himself public in the beginning of the show. Hell, they act as if they don’t even see him.
If Laughing Coffin members still exist, it means they were not arrested after they were freed from the first game. Another proof of how nobody in this world cares about deadly videogames.
EPISODE 6
Wasting time by repeating the same slow ass scene from the last episode
Forced infodumping by explaining what they are supposed to do in a mission, a minute before they do it
Kirito’s personality is rewritten every 20 minutes (from serious outside the game, to goofy inside the game, to terrified because of something that happened years ago and which didn’t show any signs of even caring about, up until then)
Kirito feels remorse for saving his life and countless others by killing psychotic and amoral mass murderers
The battles lack excitement because they lack choreography and animation. Plus, because nobody can hit Kirito even if he fires a hundred bullets while he is standing still.
Kirito can avoid bullets because he can see the eyes of the sniper from miles away
Kirito cheats on Asuna once again by seducing Shinon
Kirito and Shinon both conveniently suffer from PTSD, and both accidentally met in this game as soon as he logged in
Kirito was constantly telling us he doesn’t like popularity and is continually not trying to attract attention from the people around him. And now seduces girls in front of a huge live audience.
You go to the finals even if you lose a duel
EPISODE 7
Mostly filler around people who never mattered
More incest
More talking while sitting on a table
Kirito lies to his harem girls once again but it’s ok because he is the protagonist
EPISODE 8
Kirito acts as if he never had PTSD in front of others
Kirito acts as if he likes others cheering for him, even when he claims he is anti-social and doesn’t like men to sexually pursuit him
Shinon hits the grenades someone carries when she could simply beat him with a simple shot
Despite all her bold claims to beat Kirito this time, he sneaks up on Shinon and overpowers her in a few seconds
Kirito once more knows how to cheat the system when nobody else knows, by swimming naked underwater
A pointlessly complicating fight scene where someone is assumed to be Death Gun
Shinon contradicts her claim from before, when she said players in this game don’t use close-range weapons
EPISODE 9
If invisibility cloaks and stun bullets are so effective, why isn’t everybody using them?
Death Gun kills a player for no reason, even when his target was Shinon and nobody else
Kirito lets Death Gun to escape while standing there, not doing anything to stop him, so the story can last more episodes
Kirito proceeds to keep fighting other players as if winning the tournament means more than finding Death Gun
EPISODE 10
Kirito conveniently leaves, so Shinon will need to be saved by him. Just more excuses for looking cool.
Kirito fails to shoot Death Gun while he was standing still and defenseless, so the story can last more episodes
Death Gun shoots Kirito with the paralyzing gun which magically doesn’t paralyze its victims anymore
Death Gun doesn’t constantly shoot at them while Shinon is too scared to fire for five minutes
Shinon misses Death Gun but hits all by accident an exploding gas tank. How convenient.
Kirito defeats a player without even bothering to show us how
Kirito says he never forgot the faces of the people he killed even though he clearly had done so for years until his PTSD was asspulled into the plot
Some sort of weird sexual innuendo is exchanged when Kirito says “you live in me” and Shinon replies “I never gave myself to another man” followed by her totally falling in his lap
EPISODE 11
Kirito magically figures out how Death Gun kills people, by simply speculating over a dozen different things, with absolutely no evidence to support his conclusion
While doing so, the camera shows Shinon’s ass and her bending over like she is giving him a head. Way to ruin the seriousness of the whole thing.
All of which are recorded and shown to Asuna and the rest of the harem, who are magically not annoyed by all that
Kirito doesn’t even give a damn about the above, as if it’s normal for him to seduce girls
This is one sh*tty game if players can peek at your personal information while you are inserting them
They decide to confront Death Gun, instead of Kirito simply shooting himself, logging out, and calling the agency to go arrest the killer in Shinon’s apartment. Or better yet, just running to her apartment in a few seconds because he is Kirito.
Some believe you cannot log out or communicate with others while the tournament is still running. If that is true, this is one sh*tty game if you are paralyzed and playing dead for hours, without at least chatting with someone else to pass the time. Damn, this game is really like the first SAO; it traps you in it.
The secret agency can’t do anything to stop Death Gun because the owners of the game are overseas. So how do they expect Kirito to stop him then? Better yet, why are they sending someone to investigate without informing the owners of the game first? After all, it’s about a guy killing their top players and hurting their profits. They will be more than willing to cooperate by being in constant touch with Kirito. As soon as he tells them who Death Gun is, they will trace his account to his home and ban his avatar, thus stopping the threat. But no, they are overseas and they are better of not knowing someone is killing their top players…
EPISODE 12
They are casually talking about the specs of a player, as if they are not in a grim situation all of a sudden
Said player is introduced and taken out in less time than they were talking about him
Shinon and Death Gun snipe each other’s weapons, a thing which has the odds of one in a trillion
Internal affairs has all of SAO’s players real names and character names but for some reason they didn’t know which of the players had killed others in the game
Death Gun actually thinks he can defeat the OP protagonist
Death Gun is using a melee weapon that is supposed to be the best in the game and way better than the one Kirito is using. And yet Kirito is shown defeating players with one slash, while Death Gun has stabbed him multiple times and yet he is still alive.
EPISODE 13
f*ck the rules Shinon, just believe in yourself so years of psychological trauma and game experience are rendered meaningless. She can now snipe at impossible distances because she knows she is weak, something she couldn’t do while she thought she was strong and had a scope.
Kirito once again uses impossible detective skills to remember Death Gun’s real name. All it took was to think of a Laughing Coffin member who wore a mask with red eyes. Seriously, that’s all he did.
The nurse says she can’t save him from dehydration if he stays in the game for too long. Which is bullsh*t since this is the most basic thing all hospitals can do.
Also, if that was the case, how come ten thousand people did not dehydrate for over two years while they were trapped in the first game?
Asuna assumes Kirito can sense her presence by touching a tablet.
Zaza you idiot, you were discovered because you didn’t wear a mask with different colors. It’s a different game for crying out loud.
But then again Kirito wears black in all the games he goes in. Must be a fetish.
The red bullet lines appear only when someone fires the bullet. But for no logical reason, they appear now when Shinon is just aiming at Death Gun.
Also, how come this was just a distraction? If she can lock on him from such a distance, she might as well shoot at him.
Kirito defeats Death Gun with one hit, and makes him blow up for no real reason.
Double suicide, really???
Everybody watching is happy to see two people winning a single winner tournament instead of complaining it is rigged.
Kirito jumps up from the bed and without saying hi to his harem bitches, runs to feel some ass from his latest conquest
Once again the main villain of the arc is a psychotic rapist, just so Kirito will appear to be chivalrous despite being a cheater and a hax
And of course Death Gun was Shinon’s friend. It’s not like there were any other possible candidates who had more than 10 seconds of screen time.
And of course his cool avatar personality is nothing like his creepy real personality, even though everybody else acts the same
Yet another guy who takes videogames too seriously. f*ck reality if you can be the best in a fictional world.
Also, hail contradiction! First he wanted to kill Shinon, and now acts like he planned for years to rape and take her to some fairy land.
Also we are meant to believe he had a partner who left Shinon’s house while he sneaked in despite Shinon going around checking out the place.
Also, we are supposed to believe he was stealing dangerous drugs from his father, who never found out about it.
Also, we are supposed to accept he has a brother, a father, and a business when the show didn’t bother to show any of those.
Gotta love those door locks. They open so easily from the OUTSIDE when the second Death Gun went in to kill Shinon, then locked again, only to open again easily for rape-kun to go for her ass. But when she tries to open the door from the INSIDE then the door remains locked. Then Kirito comes in and again the door lock does not work.
And predictably Kirito arrives to the rescue. The police or a secret agency weren’t able to mobilize faster than a typical teenager.
EPISODE 14
Rape-kun overpowering Jesus-kun. I call bullsh*t.
No nipples for Kirito-sama
Plot armor strikes again as Kirito is shot with poison in the only square centimeter of his body that was accidentally protected
Do you know what we do in my country when students bully and even point real guns at people? We tell the teachers about it, and call the cops.
Yes Shinon, don’t even bother to tell anyone this guy is not your boyfriend and you are not his 5th waifu. Let the viewers imagine stuff.
Describing with monologue how a masterplan took place after the whole thing is now over
Talking about the background and the motivation of people who were accomplices or died in the game without ever bothering to show them in the whole anime
What is that you said mr. special agent; people confuse reality with games? Maybe if you go public about this problem you can increase public awareness and prevent future tragedies. But why do that; just give Kirito lots of money and walk away while hiding the truth from the people.
Kirito treats his other harem girls like sh*t, and they respond by acting like complete idiots
So how come Kirito-dono thinks of something so simple to help Shinon get over her PTSD that no other psychiatrist did for all these years, and instead she was proposed the therapy of killing people for money in videogames? It had no effect anyways.
EPISODE 14.5
A recap episode for all those who found the plot too complicating to understand it, even if it sums up as: Videogames are serious business and Kirito is boring as hell for succeeding in everything without effort.
EPISODE 15
Excellent continuity. Asspull a whole event that happened in the past in narrated flashback with still images and pretend they always knew about it but never mentioned it. And do all that by having people talking while sitting on a table.
Excellent characterization. Show Asuna naked, yearning Kirito’s D, instead of being that dynamic woman you pretended she was at first.
Shinon has officially entered Kirito’s harem, and is now a cat woman with a tail for him to pull for the lulz. Remember when they pretended she was dynamic and wouldn’t let anyone boss her around?
Excellent world building. Have narration with minimum animation to explain the backdrop of something that is just a harmless videogame quest.
And yes, we moved from videogames that can kill you to fool around trying to get a videogame item with no risk or tension whatsoever.
They are role playing this quest so well, to the point they even refuse to message the other players to stop killing the flying spaghetti monsters and prevent the disaster.
Funniest part is that Kirito has founder privileges in this game. He doesn’t need to go find the sword or prevent the disaster. He can create anything he likes because he is like a god in this world.
And even if he does it just for the heck of it, he doesn’t need other party members. He can solo the whole thing.
EPISODE 16
This game is way too easy if a bunch of players who just found out they can use magic, after a long battle that leaves them injured and with most consumable items gone, can still wipe out several bosses in a line without dying once, all of which while still being pressured by time.
Klein falls in love with a fictional character, even after everybody tells him she’s not real and most likely a trap.
EPISODE 17
Remember all those MMO boss raids you won by looking for magical win triggers in the boss room? Neither do I.
And this concludes the most boring, aimless arc ever. ZZZ…
What Shinon says to Kirito about pulling the sword is an allegory for fapping only to her.
EPISODE 18
Oh look, they return to the cottage where chapter 16.5 happened. And this time they bring all the harem bimbos for an orgy.
EPISODE 19
Oh so that is the amazing conflict of this arc. A classic evil mother who doesn't want her daughter to be with the peasant boy WHO SAVED SIX THOUSAND PEOPLE, including her daughter. Love the logic.
EPISODE 20
New harem girl appears. So much for calling this Asuna’s arc.
Evil mother wants Asuna to marry an idiot like she did, for power and money.
Kirito appears to steal the spotlight once again.
EPISODE 21
I honestly don’t care about this boss battle. It’s just a game.
EPISODE 22
I don’t care about the sick new girl either. We only saw her for 2 episodes and they expect us to care? And why does Asuna even give a damn about a girl she met 2 days ago? Her stupid mother is a bigger issue than this bs drama.
EPISODE 23
Videogames are so cool, they make even stuck up parents to change their minds from the very first time they try them out.
Too bad real life stuck up parents wouldn’t even touch the controller, much less agree to enter a virtual reality that they know is addictive, ruins the social lives of children, and killed thousands of people.
Why did the mother even need to go into the damn videogame to have a typical chat like any normal person would have in real life? Reality is not enough for that?
She changed her mind so easily, making the whole conflict feeling superficial as hell.
And even if she hadn’t changed her mind, Kirito would simply appear, win her with his godly charm, and then they would have a lovely hentai threesome. Hell, that would be a better ending to a bullsh*t resolution by having people talking while sitting in a videogame.
EPISODE 24
In real life, very few players would give a sh*t about another player dying, much less coming to see her, all at once for a last time, because of time zone differences and various other real life obligations (assuming they have a social life and still go outside). Although she was famous, her fame is limited to her avatar, not the real her or her real life issues. Nobody cares if a gorgeous dark elf is in reality a smelly 60 year old fat male.
And seriously, it’s her last moments and she STILL needs to spend them while playing videogames.
In real life, there would be thousands of conspiracy theorists who would cause uproar by her death, claiming that videogames give people AIDS.
Ah yes, there’s that girl who helped the original villain to do all the crap he did. Yet another plot point that was just thrown in there and was never touched upon.
